In the Past Four Days
I have slept in four different beds in four different cities, spent three hours or more in six different cities, driven 800 miles, and been in the car for roughly 18 hours total.
I may never leave my apartment again.
It's Always an Adventure at the Garvin House
Shortly after arriving at my parent’s house, I started to walk toward my bedroom…
Mom: I put a doll in your room
Me: Is it a scary doll?
Mom: No
Dad: Yes
Mom: It was my grandma’s. I’m going to give it to your Aunt Pam…
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
runs out of bedroom
Me: YOU LIED! THAT IS A VERY SCARY DOLL!!!!
Dad: I didn’t lie
Me: No, but she did!
Mom: It’s not scary.
Me: IT HAS NO EYES!
Mom: Yes, it does, they just fell out. They’re inside her head. Listen, you can hear them in there.
Me: NOT. HELPING.
Some parents turn their child’s room into a home gym. Or a study. My mother uses mine to store creepy, eyeless porcelain dolls from the early 1900s. Of course.
Dear Couple That Got Engaged Via Tumblr
I posted something saying I would kill someone if they ever proposed to me via the internet. This is true. I would. I would hope whoever proposes to me would have enough sense to know me better than to do that. That being said, I hope the groom-to-be knows his bride-to-be enough to know that an internet proposal melts her little heart, or she at least appreciates the romantic gesture. Proposing is a know your audience kind of deal. Some girls want big displays and huge romantic gestures. Me? I’d either be a blubbering idiot and would want as few people to see it as possible and to not have to go about a work day or such afterward, or I’d look at you and say, “Are you crazy? Have you MET me?? I’M CRAZY! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!” in which case YOU’D want as few people to be there/know about it as possible.
Know your audience.
Boy, I would have killed you if you proposed to me like that. But you didn’t! You proposed to her. And she said yes so she loves you and you did a cute, wonderful thing for her. That’s awesome. And you’re in love. Congratulations!
If you get married over the internet, though…I will kill you.
xo Heidi
HEIDI GARVIN, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!?!?!
Best reblog ever. And a guaranteed No. And possible death sentence. iceblended, you are a man living on the edge. Danger should be your middle name. I shall call you, Ice “Danger” Blended.
“Don’t tell me to button up my cardigan! I’ll button it up if I want to and if I get cold. Right now, I’m comfortable. No. No. No. No. No. No. Don’t come down here to do it. I can do it. Look! See! I can do it myself. I’m just going to button the top and bottom buttons to freak you out! Look at these unbutton buttons! Just flopping in the breeze………BLERGH! I’m just grumpy because they were out of the Apple Pie Milk Shake at lunch. I read about this amazing Apple Pie Milk Shake on Eater and I’ve been looking forward to it for months and they ran out! How do you run out! And how do you say no to a small child when she says it’s her birthday!? No, I do not want to go to Jack In The Box for a milkshake. I just need a nap and an apple pie in milkshake form. Mostly, a nap.”
The Diary of Suri Cruise miiiiiiiiiiiiiight just be my favorite tumblr ever. EVER. (non-tumblr users, go to www.thediaryofsuricruise.tumblr.com and put a thank you card in the mail to me for making your life 200% better.)
You would think after driving the same car for several years, I would have managed to learn how to get the world’s longest torso in and out of the car without hitting my head everytime. You. Would. Think.
Dear Couple That Got Engaged Via Tumblr
I posted something saying I would kill someone if they ever proposed to me via the internet. This is true. I would. I would hope whoever proposes to me would have enough sense to know me better than to do that. That being said, I hope the groom-to-be knows his bride-to-be enough to know that an internet proposal melts her little heart, or she at least appreciates the romantic gesture. Proposing is a know your audience kind of deal. Some girls want big displays and huge romantic gestures. Me? I’d either be a blubbering idiot and would want as few people to see it as possible and to not have to go about a work day or such afterward, or I’d look at you and say, “Are you crazy? Have you MET me?? I’M CRAZY! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!” in which case YOU’D want as few people to be there/know about it as possible.
Know your audience.
Boy, I would have killed you if you proposed to me like that. But you didn’t! You proposed to her. And she said yes so she loves you and you did a cute, wonderful thing for her. That’s awesome. And you’re in love. Congratulations!
If you get married over the internet, though…I will kill you.
xo Heidi
A Garvin Thanksgiving
This is what my family will most likely make/serve/eat for Thanksgiving
- Turkey
- Ham
- Prime Rib (mostly for my Grandpa. I’m not sure if he eats any other meats. Pretty sure it’s just prime rib)
- stuffing
- mashed potatoes and gravy
- cranberry sauce (for my mom, and probably only my mom)
- yams with mini marshmallows
- sweet potato pie (a specialty of my sister-in-law’s)
- green bean casserole
- pineapple casserole
- a jello mold
- homemade rolls (thank you, Grandpa, the retired baker)
- waldorf salad
- a grape, marshmallow, fruit salad whose name eludes me
- various pies
- birthday cake
We are not having it at my aunt’s house this year, which means we will miss out on her homemade Italian Spaghetti Bolognese. Major bummer.
4 of those dishes will most likely include mini marshmallows.
Yes, there will be three kinds of meat.
My brother was born on Thanksgiving. This explains the birthday cake. His birthday falls on the holiday again this year. Even if it didn’t, his birthday would be right around the corner, and there would be family around…which sounds like cake time to meeeeeeeee. And if I know my mother, and I think I do, there will also be party hats.
And of course, there will be a veggie platter. Because it’s not a holiday until I put black olives on all of my fingers and pretend they are members of the royal guard who get into a squabble and meet their doom (in my mouth)!
The inevitable procrastination by the Garvin women (like mother, like daughter) means that last minute frustration and slight panic will also be served. These are dishes best served hot.
The best part is that there is going to be a delicious baby at the table and I am going to just eat him all up.
A Period of Domesticity
or Why I’ve Been Too Busy to Post Much
Last weekend we hosted a going away party for a friend before he left the country for three months. We celebrated the major American holidays he will miss (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s), as well as a few minor ones (Hanukkah - minor in that he’s not Jewish, and Festivus). This means I put up some of our Christmas decorations and made some Thanksgiving/New Year’s/Hanukkah decorative pieces as well. I also roasted a turkey and made homemade hot cocoa and sugar cookies. In addition, my roommate, the guest of honor, and even some of the party guests, made exquisite dishes to contribute.
Tonight I’m leaving for Central California and tomorrow I’ll finish the drive up to the bay area for my dear dear friend’s bridal shower and bachelorette party. I’ve been finishing up party favors and prizes for the shower activities all week. Making and wrapping homemade soaps, body scrubs, and bath salts.
The weekend after that is Thanksgiving. My mom is hosting dinner at my parents’ house, something rarely done in the history of Garvin Thanksgivings. I’m coming home early to help.
Martha Stewart, eat your heart out.
